Not here :)

Pindah blogg ku sudaaaa :P

Click here peps. ------>> Ruq's New Blog!!

Last Post here

Wont be posting up anything anymore. Will let you guys know when I have the heart to blog again.

Bye~

Back to NFS

Hey Invisiders - not that I know siapa my invisiders... atu pun kalau ada :P

I changed my template again to my previous template - I'm stating the obvious :P.

I have absolutely nothing to do right now and I am still trying to solve my bad hack problem :( sigh~ Oh well~ I'll try to solve it! I know I can solve it!

BORED as always. Surprisingly, these past few days, the day went on at a fast pace :s I can't keep up with it. I haven't even do the things that I am suppose to do today! Oh no~~~~~~

------------ Thats it! I'll get everything done by tonight :P

Later invisiders :>

Bad Hack!

I tried hacking into a certain website and my first attempt was a SUCCESS. Then, i tried hacking into it again and well.... it was a complete failure.

I tried to fix it but it kept me up for 2 nights and I still haven't found the solution to it.

The software that I used was Cheat Engine 5.5. If theres any of you invisiders know about hacking, please do let me know :) & I'll give you more info about it :P

INVISIDER

Hello INVISEDERS.

I wont be posting much any of these days because its Eid so I don't have time to go online.

But!! I can't help but wondered, siapa yg selalu visit my blog ani kn? :)

Pls leave a comment or post something up in my cbox so that I know siapa invisiders ku. Aight :)

Selamat Hari Raya Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-.- sleepy -.-

Hello invisider (invisible + reader) - I knowww! how cool is that!! :P

So yea.. I've been online for 31 hours straight and I'm trying to break my own 32 hours record. This is tiring~ but FUN! I've downloaded NFS shift for my psp and played Restaurant city :)

I waited for Hafiz to go online since 7pm last night. I guess he's busy. :'( oh well~

Angpau Raya~~~~~ I'm not looking forward to that :P I don't think I'll get any angpau this year other then from my parents :)

With the money this year, I am planning to buy a keyboard - bukan computer keyboard ehh.. the one that makes sound - I want to learn pinano~~ I have to keep myself occupied and at the same time, learn new skills :)

Bangga ku eh kn kejadian ku ani :')

I guess that is all my ~INVISIDER~ I'm off to my scrapbook at photobucket :P

P.S: Liat bebeh moon tonight :)

Raya!! :)

Hello.... invisible readers :)

It seems that I have visitors eventhough I abandoned my blog for quite a while :'( Satia kamu ani eh :'(

Hari Raya is coming~ and I have 2 new cara melayu and as usual, another red cara melayu this year :) kan betakbir th ku ni malam ani :P

Its best to look forward for Raya every year. Who knows it may be your last plus Bruneians are lucky to celebrate raya without worries. NO FAMINE, LESS POVERTY, NO WARS.. NO any of the bad things that are currently happening in other less fortunate countries. Fikirkn sejenak wahai insan yg beruntung. cewahhhh

Thats it guess~ will be posting up new things / info / news / pictures soon :)

Hello Me!!

Life has been quite okay for me.

It has been a while since I last posted anything here. I just can't find the will to even think about posting my life here. Something someone dragged my attention to start blogging again. I have been thinking of posting something, but failed to ever find the necessity of blogging not that I found it, but life has its own way of doing things.

So yea- it has been a month since my last post. I think it was before my best friend embarks on his journey outside Brunei for scholarship. How I wish I too got the scholarship and leave Brunei with him. There are just a handful of things that I wanted to leave behind. I guess it is too late now. I have to wait till I’m over with my A’levels. I’m still aiming for Neuroscience, but I have my doubts.

It feels lonely when someone you’re close with is not around.

I’m getting tired of this. Let’s call it a night.

Funia!

Today was THE most tiring day ever! I spent my whole day from 8a.m till 5.30pm volunteering to help out at Pasaria Amal at Pusat Ehsan! But it was fun! Jazmi was there, Hanafi, Wana, Khaz, Nabilah.... n more (I can't remeber all the names :(). Oh! Syima was there too! (menyampuk kraja jua.. :P) I love all the activities held there and won a lot of prizes (how exciting!) I won a monkey doll (Hanafi won it for me. Thanks dude! hahaha! gay jua :P) A blue teddy bear (won it for sir Kifri, he paid it for me to play his game where I have to throw rings into bowling pins :P), An egg?? (I won it for...... not being able to put any balls into a large vase :P) A big balloon club (Won it for successfully hitting all the tin cans on the table).

I got a chance to face my fears of Tarantula today. There was an animal exhibition at Pasaria Amal. The animals there are all tame so I got to handle a green long nose snake, I think its the plant snake, then.. Boa (looks like Boa) then a cute chipmunk, a large Iguana, turtle, Scorpion and Tarantula! It was freakin AMAZING!! I'm not that afraid of Tarantulas anymore, but my hand did itch after it crawled on it. :( Then again that was the best experience ever!)

Something happened that ruined my mood, perhaps... not just me. I'm sorry. I felt "the" moment back there :P PMS! Its just one of my mood swings, forgive me kucing :) Hope you're not mad at me. :)

That is all then~ I am so fweakin tired! :) Goodnight everyone!!!!!

Did I?

Did I break the promise that we made the other day? I don't know... actually more like I don't know what to feel right now. I've been like this since Friday, I wanted to let it all out but, you won't let me. I feel all bottled up and I can't hold it anymore. I keep stuffing myself with lots and lots of junk food hoping to ease up the pain.

I need to realize what I'm doing is wrong but, I just couldn't help myself.

Its all messed up right now, my life, my parents.. basically everything. I tried to resolve this but that got me nowhere.

I need you right now, but you wouldn't let me.

Mayday Parade - 3 cheers for 5 years

Lyrics :

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
I had in you

To late, I'm sure
and lonely
another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now
against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering
an offering
To late, I'm sure
and lonely
another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now
against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

And I will always remember you as, you are right now to me
And I will always remember you now, remember you now

So sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight
How does he feel, how does he kiss
(let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
How does he taste while he's on your lips
(let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
How does he feel, how does he kiss
(Repeats in background:let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

Sleep alone tonight

Its 3am in the morning and I can't sleep. I kept on listening to 3 cheers for 5 years since Faadz told me about it. The lyrics of the song got into because, I'm in that situation. I can't stand feeling this anymore.

I will always remember you now.

Free

Thank you for coming today :) It has been a while since I last met u. Now, I feel lifted and free. Not that I'm holding on to you. But still, its still nice to have you around. You made my day brighter than ever.

Thank you :)

Cheer up :)

I wasn't feeling quite myself yesterday due to an incident. So before I went home, I played a game with Khaz, Wana, Qida, Nabil and Faizan. We played this game where there are two types of papers. One with 12 numbered questions and one with 12 names of the people you know. Wana did all the questions and the 12 victims are:

-Nabil

-Jazmi

-Faadz

-Ayyub

-Faizan

-Qida

-Nabilah

-Faruq

-Faizah

-Wana

-Khaz

-Iqbal

So~ Lets just move on to the results of the 1st Game.

Faruq : I always have gay dreams of........... Nabil

Khaz : I always sneak into this person's bedroom at night to watch him/her sleep...... Faadz

Qida : This person peed on his/her pants last night...... Jazmi

Nabil : I barfed in this person's bag....... Ayyub

Faruq : I killed this person when I made out with him/her...... Faizan

Khaz : This person and I often go to a gay bar........... Qida

Qida : This person made out with me in the girls toilet for an hour...... Nabilah

Nabil : This person drives a trash truck to school everyday........ Faizah

Faruq : The male version of Pamela Anderson is..... Faruq

Khaz : I had my first kiss with...... Iqbal

Qida : This person is my lap dance partner once......... Khaz

Nabil : This person was once of another gender...... Wana

Hahaha! I always ended up with gay questions :P

Anyway, for the 2nd Game, we used the same names and questions but the questions are jumbled up. Here's the result of the 2nd Game.

Qida : This person peed on his/her pants last night......... Syazni

Khaz : This person was once of another gender........ Faizan

Nabil : The male version of Pamela Anderson is........ Ayyub

Faruq : I often sneak into this person's bedroom at night to watch him/her sleep....... Qida

Qida : I barfed in this person's bag...... Faizah

Khaz : This person made out with me in the girls toilet for an hour...... Nabil

Nabil : I had my first kiss with........ Wana

Faruq : This person and I often go to a gay bar......... Nabilah

Qida : I killed this person when I made out with him/her....... Faruq

Khaz : This person is my lap dance partner once........ Jazmi

Nabil : This person drives a trash truch to school everyday......... Faadz

Faruq : I always have gay dreams of............... Khaz

Hahahaha! Now its all messed up! Well anyway, thats about it. As promised :) I enjoyed the game. Too bad.... I didn't bring a friend to enjoy this game with me. Sorry Kucing. I was pissed off at that time :(

Restaurant City

I am addicted to this game! Been playing it non-stop since last night. Can't get rid of that addiction. I love this fun game :) I hope you guys who are playing this game enjoy it as much as I do :P

The Journey

Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you know till what lenght I'd be willing to go over just to be with you? I bet you don't. Maybe its because I don't show it to you. I acted as if I didn't care about you earlier this year.

The thing is, I care for you as a friend. I really do. You were once that kept me going through my everyday life and sadly you were once the person that made me build that wall just for me to tear it down, breaking my own fragile heart. I hated you once but that hurts me more. I loved you once, but, no answer was given.

Eventhough things did a little rough between us, the "journey" that we went through, you're still my friend.

To Late?

Last night was a wee bit of hell for me. I tried to think things over and I know I was overly sensitive about stuff lately. But, I have my reasons. Should I just accept what other people say about me or what not? Shouldn't I have a say on it. To prove my point to have a say on my behalf?

What should I do? What can I do?

I need to get this over with before its too late.

Tadaaa!

Well~ things got a little messed up inside my head. The little man inside me went crazy so I decided to renew my blog template from that dull gloomy colour, to this whole new bright red template although that floral pattern does look gay. Well, at least this one got the "SPARK" in it. Plus, that splatter pattern makes it extra cool? Haha :P So anyway, I lost one of the gadget on my sidebar and I'll try to retrieve that :) and I noticed that Ayyub's name, Chubs and Fai's and Nafi's name on the top clickable header. I'm not sure how that got up there and I can't find the html code responsible for that. Biar tia eh~ Rugged jua tu :)

So anyway, I promised some of the guys and girls that I'll post the game we played this afternoon. I'll do that later since I am too sleepy to do it right now :P

Tomorrow, I promise :)

Release me.

Some things are just beyond our control and all we can do is embrace it or make a break for it. Someone, in a way, insult me by which at some level, the worst thing that a friend would ever say to me. I am fully aware of the person I am and I don't need to be told about it! I knew it was suppose to be a joke, but, that was a little to far for me to take it. Why should I be the person to always accept such jokes as plain jokes and not an insult to me? Why can't you ever from my point of view and how hurt I was. I know that I am being too sensitive about such things, almost everything for that matter! But, please, just understand the situation that I am currently in right now. I tried not solve or even care about the things in my head but that made me feel numb and somewhat lifeless.

I don't know if you realize this or what not but please, be a friend and not do that to me anymore.

Out of control!

Obviously nothing can cure an addiction other than pure determination and apparently, I DON'T HAVE THAT! Been on Facebook all day. Pissing off every second of my life today wondering how life starts to yada yada yada yada.. BORING~ Yup! Endless boredom!! And what did I do to kill that so called BOREDOM?? This----->>

1. Playing Sims : Castaway on my psp for 6 hours straight!

2. Eating all kinds of junk food.

3. Take care of my lil bro.

4. Mad at my lil bro for throwing my phone 6 feet away.

5. Got hit by my heavy stats book on my head while retrieving the missing panadol under the table.

6. Hit the table while running just to catch a glimpse of the fireworks somewhere around my Kpg.

7. Drown myself in the state of sorrow and pain.

8. Stare blankly into space.

9. Youtube-ing for god knows what!

10. Played Restaurant city on Facebook.

11. Blog hopping.

12. Watch Star Wars: Episodes 4 and 5.

What a day~ all wasted by doing useless things. I know I should do something about it. But, my mind is all messed up today.

I wanna make a wishlist (or something). Since I got nothing else to do :P I'll put it on my sidebar, just for fun :D