Hello Me!!

Life has been quite okay for me.

It has been a while since I last posted anything here. I just can't find the will to even think about posting my life here. Something someone dragged my attention to start blogging again. I have been thinking of posting something, but failed to ever find the necessity of blogging not that I found it, but life has its own way of doing things.

So yea- it has been a month since my last post. I think it was before my best friend embarks on his journey outside Brunei for scholarship. How I wish I too got the scholarship and leave Brunei with him. There are just a handful of things that I wanted to leave behind. I guess it is too late now. I have to wait till I’m over with my A’levels. I’m still aiming for Neuroscience, but I have my doubts.

It feels lonely when someone you’re close with is not around.

I’m getting tired of this. Let’s call it a night.

Funia!

Today was THE most tiring day ever! I spent my whole day from 8a.m till 5.30pm volunteering to help out at Pasaria Amal at Pusat Ehsan! But it was fun! Jazmi was there, Hanafi, Wana, Khaz, Nabilah.... n more (I can't remeber all the names :(). Oh! Syima was there too! (menyampuk kraja jua.. :P) I love all the activities held there and won a lot of prizes (how exciting!) I won a monkey doll (Hanafi won it for me. Thanks dude! hahaha! gay jua :P) A blue teddy bear (won it for sir Kifri, he paid it for me to play his game where I have to throw rings into bowling pins :P), An egg?? (I won it for...... not being able to put any balls into a large vase :P) A big balloon club (Won it for successfully hitting all the tin cans on the table).

I got a chance to face my fears of Tarantula today. There was an animal exhibition at Pasaria Amal. The animals there are all tame so I got to handle a green long nose snake, I think its the plant snake, then.. Boa (looks like Boa) then a cute chipmunk, a large Iguana, turtle, Scorpion and Tarantula! It was freakin AMAZING!! I'm not that afraid of Tarantulas anymore, but my hand did itch after it crawled on it. :( Then again that was the best experience ever!)

Something happened that ruined my mood, perhaps... not just me. I'm sorry. I felt "the" moment back there :P PMS! Its just one of my mood swings, forgive me kucing :) Hope you're not mad at me. :)

That is all then~ I am so fweakin tired! :) Goodnight everyone!!!!!

Did I?

Did I break the promise that we made the other day? I don't know... actually more like I don't know what to feel right now. I've been like this since Friday, I wanted to let it all out but, you won't let me. I feel all bottled up and I can't hold it anymore. I keep stuffing myself with lots and lots of junk food hoping to ease up the pain.

I need to realize what I'm doing is wrong but, I just couldn't help myself.

Its all messed up right now, my life, my parents.. basically everything. I tried to resolve this but that got me nowhere.

I need you right now, but you wouldn't let me.

Mayday Parade - 3 cheers for 5 years

Lyrics :

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
I had in you

To late, I'm sure
and lonely
another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now
against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering
an offering
To late, I'm sure
and lonely
another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now
against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

And I will always remember you as, you are right now to me
And I will always remember you now, remember you now

So sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight
How does he feel, how does he kiss
(let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
How does he taste while he's on your lips
(let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
How does he feel, how does he kiss
(Repeats in background:let's sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side)
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

Sleep alone tonight

Its 3am in the morning and I can't sleep. I kept on listening to 3 cheers for 5 years since Faadz told me about it. The lyrics of the song got into because, I'm in that situation. I can't stand feeling this anymore.

I will always remember you now.